im sick :(

yeahh first of all.. long time no post..really long time, just been so busy with sacs tests, and holidays i was out prettyyy much everyday and when i wasnt out i was wanting to go out ahahhaa, good one tabb. and as usual left homework to the last minute
anyways im at home, its evening, waiting for lasagne to cook in the oven :) but sitting here with a nAAAsty sore throat :( its poo i hate it, ive lost my voice and i have no idea how, i feel perfectly fine otherwise LOL

you know sometimes and today i was thinking about being an example, and i gotta admit, i am not the best example to others, but then again who is?.. its something im working on.. depending on the environment im in i tend to change my behaviour not for the onlookers and people around me but for self worth and comfort and feeling secure in myself, but if i have to change myself to feel happy about myself, if i actually look in deep into my heart im really not that happy at all...
i think i underestimate how much i am looked up to by younger kids, i realised this when i heard my sister argueing with my mum, she sounded just like me when i was her age, i felt so sad when i realised that this is how i used to be. for those who have younger siblings, you must realise how much of an influence and role model we are to our younger sibling, it actually makes a huge difference in the way they grow up, ive realised this and the way i act at home now is very different and now just trying to spread that throughout my whole life.


Something else that has been on my mind lately is decision making, you know in year 12 especially this year tehre are so many decisions to make, especially with what to do next year, what i want to do, what God wants me to do what my parents expect of me. I know what I want to do but I don't know what God wants me to do, I have a dream and a plan but until this year i had not considered God's own dream, plan and purpose for me. All the time people ask how is year 12 going.. la di da di da, when in theyre mind theyre actually asking hows it al going, hows the stress, what do yiou wana do with your life, and only a few times have i actually thought about those decisions..

another side to decision making is that a lot of decisions we make on a daily basis affect others, it has an impact on others, if one day i was at work and decided to chill out when it was busy it would affect the other people around me, theyd have to work heaps harder to fill in for my lacking!
Sometimes we make decisions which can be extremely selfish but we need to take into consideration that the world does not revolve around us, the world is not all about us but about others and God, and sometimes when it comes to decision making, we need to think how this is going to impact others. We need to make decisions which glorify and please God!! :)

- tabbs!